


Stay By My Side

by ThatAnnoyingWriter



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety, Depression, Manga, Old days, Suicide, Tokyo Ghoul:Re - Freeform, kaneki ken - Freeform, when it all started
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 19:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6870793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatAnnoyingWriter/pseuds/ThatAnnoyingWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just my take on what most likely happened in Kaneki's past. </p><p>*Trigger warning*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Chapter 76 not enough for you? Come here, there's enough misery for everyone here. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy :)

_You were the one person who wasn't supposed to leave me alone,_ Kaneki thought miserably as he looked at Arima. Arima had been like a father to Kaneki, the father he never had. But now that Kaneki wa s himself again, Arima had no choice but to kill him. Kaneki didn't hold any grudges against that, it was Arima's job whether they liked it or not. 

    But Kaneki couldn't help but yearning for something to look forward to. If he came out of this all alive, what was waiting for him? Hide was supposed to be waiting for him. After all this fighting he was supposed to hail a taxi to Hide's house and hug him and talk to him until this all became a bad memory. 

    They ran at each other again, Kaneki barely getting out in one piece. What was the point in all this anyways? If Hide was gone, what the hell was the point of Kaneki's life?

     Kaneki was lonely. He was hurting and he was sure that not having Hide with him was slowly killing him inside. Being Sasaki Haise had helped with forgetting the guilt, loneliness and blood but it was only for a while before reality had caught up. Reality had basically kicked the front door of his brain and strangled him. 

     _Why am I still alive?_ Kaneki thought. He had only killed and killed again. He was a murderer, he couldn't even bear to look at his hands in fear that he wouldn't be able to see them through the blood on his hands. He knew it was stupid, he knew it was all a metaphor but was so damn scared.   _Like a little kid._

As he ran towards Arima again, he had flashbacks of his past. His whole life was flashing before his eyes before his up-coming death.

Kaneki smiled at the thought.


	2. When It Began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, so here the flashbacks start :) 
> 
> I'm probably going to hell for even publishing this work but whatever, at least I'll be able to meet Ishida Sui :)

**\-----------**

   Kaneki sat on the floor, giving his back to the huge bookshelf his father had left behind. His nose was buried in a book, his mind anywhere but here.

    The book he was reading was pretty interesting, and it was obvious that the characters were going to have a sad but happy ending. That was what Kaneki wanted for his life, but he doubted he'd have what he wanted.

    He had been taught to hate his life, to never love. That love was a fleeting thing, that it was useless against everything life threw at them. But books said otherwise, and Kaneki trusted books. Books didn't hurt him, books taught him about how things were with care. Books showed him the affection no one else could. 

    "So you're here again," the stern voice he had been hiding from said in front of him. He slowly looked up from the book with fearful eyes. His mother was angry. He didn't say anything, fearing he'd only make things worse. He always did. Kaneki's mother scowled at him, "Didn't I tell you to stop reading these?"

    Kaneki wanted to run away but he knew he wouldn't. He loved his mother too much to turn his back to her, it didn't really make sense to even him but Kaneki really did love her. He guessed that his mother was just bitter about the whole ordeal with her husband--Kaneki's father. He just swallowed and quietly replied, "Yes, ma'am."

    His mother snatched the book away away from Kaneki and threw it across the room, " _Then why are you reading these?_ " Kaneki began to shake out of fear while his mother was screeching about how disobedient he was. He didn't fight it when he started to get hit. 

    The beatings started slow at first, just light slaps, but then it began to get out of hand like it always did. It ended with Kaneki locked in the closet with new wounds, old wounds opened, bloody and in tears. 

    Kaneki cupped his chin. "Mommy," he shouted, "Mommy, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He then stopped cupping his chin, "I hate the dark, I hate the dark, I HATE THE DARK! Mommy, let me go! Mommy!" His breathing was all over the place and he began screaming as he realized that his mother was going to leave him alone here like she always did.

    Kaneki hated it in the closet. It was dark, narrow, stuffy and there were no books here that could accompany him. Kaneki was afraid of the dark. He always felt like there was a hidden being in there that was watching him. That was observing him until it finally ate him. 

    Kaneki didn't want to get eaten. Kaneki didn't want to die alone in this closet. Kaneki didn't want to die in the dark. He wanted to die in a library, surrounded by light and books and had space to move around normally. A place where he could breathe normally and be at peace.

    "Why do I make Mother sad?" Kaneki whispered to himself as he closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the monster grin at him with its sharp, white fangs. "Am I a burden?" Kaneki wanted the monster to be quick and kill him already. "Is that why Father left? Because he didn't want anything to do with me?"

    _Kid,_ a voice said. It sounded strangely like his own, but different at the same time. 

    "Who are you?" Kaneki shouted, shutting his eyes tightly and squeezing his fists.

    _You want to get rid of the pain, dontcha?_  

    "Y-ye-yeah?.."

    _Then do as I say._

The voice sounded trustworthy and it's reasoning sounded so _logical_. Kaneki nodded, his eyes still shut. "I can do that," he said once the voice was finished. "This will make my mother and I happy, right?" The voice replied with a genuine yes, and that was more than enough to drive Kaneki into action.

**...**

    When Kaneki tried the doorknob for the thousandth time (yes, he _had_ counted) he found it unlocked. That was how his mother let him out, she just quietly unlocked the door and walked away. She didn't care enough to check if Kaneki had gotten out.

    Kaneki went to his room to freshen himself up. He had blood all over him and his wounds needed some taking care of. After all that, Kaneki walked to the kitchen with newfound confidence and strength. This was for the greater good, that was what the voice had said. Kaneki trusted the voice, it never did anything to hurt him.

    "Mother," he greeted quietly. His mother was preparing supper, which meant Kaneki had been locked in the closet for more than fifteen hours. This was for the greater good. Kaneki was going to be happy, and his mother was also going to be happy. The voice had promised that.

    His mother just continued chopping the meat. Her hands were dyed red from the animal's blood. A beautiful red, one that her hands seemed to be always covered in. It suited her, because Kaneki had never seen them clean for more than five minutes.

    "Mother," he said it more forcefully now, needing her to look at him if only for a minute. He had something hidden behind his back. His mother tensed and dropped the knife, looking at him with hateful eyes.

    "Who do you think you are to address your mother in a forceful manner?" she shouted, "Apoligize to me right now, or do you need another beating? Seriously, I don't get it Kaneki! I've given you a bed, at least one meal a day and water! I've given you education and I've taught you how to speak! Is asking for a little respect _too much for you_?"

    Kaneki cupped his chin, "I'm doing this for our sakes," Kaneki's answered before he revealed what he had hidden behind his back and stabbed his mother with it. It was a small butter knife.  

    His mother was shocked, she stared at him with wide eyes. "Why?" she whispered. 

    "The voice said we could both live happily this way," Kaneki replied. He stabbed his mother again and again until he was sure he was stabbing nothing but a bunch of muscles and meat. He got off the corpse of his mother and walked back to his room, changing his clothes. He burned the bloody clothes and knife like he'd read in a book and buried the ashes behind a tree near his house. He broke the window with his school bag (which he'd filled up with a lot of things) when he knew no one was looking and then got back in the house, calling the police.

    _Are you happy?_ the voice asked. 

    Kaneki really was.


	3. Stay... Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uhm, how did you guys like the second chapter?

**\-------------------**

Kaneki hated himself. There was no other way to really put it, he just hated himself. He hated himself like how God apparently hated him. 

    "Hey look," a boy said to his group as he pointed at Kaneki, "it's the nerd!" The group laughed at him as he walked past, but Kaneki didn't do anything. What was the point? He hated himself anyways, what was defending himself against a bunch of people who said the same things he told himself going to do? It was pointless. _Life_ was pointless.

    But still, Kaneki wandered the earth like a dead man. He had no purpose to live, he had no one who _wanted_ him to live. Kaneki guessed that this was his stubbornness talking. Too stubborn to let this all get to him but too broken to actually care. It was a fucked up logic but "fucked up" described Kaneki perfectly without leaving any gaps, so why even bother trying to understand his brain's logic? It's not like he used the damned organ to figure out emotions.

    Kaneki liked the subjects Math and Japanese more than all the others, while Biology disgusted him. In Math, there was only one formula and one answer, there was no need to kill someone or get locked in a closet. In Japanese, he learned about writing and reading; he could get lost in his own book ideas and it was completely alright. 

    But Biology reminded him of his mother, stabbed more times than he could count or see. It reminded him of how much of a monster he was.

    Like son like mother, the saying went. Kaneki hid his sadistic grin to himself.

**...**

Going home was always a pain in the ass, so he delayed it for as long as he could. It wasn't like his aunt, uncle or cousin cared much about him anyways. He always sat on that hill and read his books. That was how things always had been, until a boy his age approached him.

    The boy had bleached hair. Kaneki had seen him around before, but Kaneki had never taken the time to actually really see him. The boy crutches his cheek nervously, "Aren't you the guy who always reads alone?" Kaneki just nodded meekly, wanting the boy to say what he wanted to say so Kaneki could go back to reading. The boy smiled nervously, "U-uh, I'm new around time so I don't have any friends. Would you like to be my friend?"

    Kaneki blinked in surprise. Was it this easy to make friends? Well, of course. But leaving them was even easier when you found out your friend was a monster. But Kaneki wanted to be this boy's friend. Kaneki honestly didn't know why, it was just that this boy was actually talking to him when he could be talking to anyone else, that he could be smiling at some popular people and making it easy for himself.

    "My name is Nagachika Hideyoshi, but call me Hide! Thanks for being my friend!" The boy--Hide--then smiled at Kaneki and Kaneki was sure that this radiance was going to melt his face off. His smile was so bright, his eyes sparkling and his face the picture of happiness.

    "Ken Kaneki..." Kaneki reluctantly replied. 

    "Kaneki-kun, then!" Hide said happily. Hide and Kaneki began chatting, and Kaneki was surprised to see that Hide was actually showing respect to his rambles about books even though he claimed not to have touched a single book his entire life.

    Kaneki decided to change himself. He'd read books about how parents could affect their child subconsciously, and Kaneki was sure the affects he'd been affected with weren't healthy. So, he'd change himself to become a better person than he was now and he'd never hurt Hide like his mother and aunt hurt him.

    He wouldn't make the same mistake his family had made.


	4. Don't Fight Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your feedbacks, guys! It really means a lot to me! 
> 
> I'm kinda worried about the fact that I can write this story so easily... Eh, whatever. 
> 
> Anyways, 100 hits WOOOO! I should do something special next chapter... Ideas? I'm always open to ideas and constructive criticism, so go knock yourself out in the comments! 
> 
> Be sure to enjoy this chapter, I couldn't sleep because this idea demanded that I should think about it for a few hours.

**\------------------------**

   It had all happened in an instant. Kaneki had been caught off guard. 

    Kaneki blamed this all at the fact that he had been caught off guard. He hadn't enjoyed it (he had), he hadn't wanted to break that guy's bones (he had), he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone else (he had). He had been merely caught off guard. 

    Kaneki couldn't stand the horrified look on Hide's face, but Kaneki couldn't run away. Kaneki couldn't run away once again and it was all _his fault_! Kaneki should've known he couldn't change himself, that this was all for absolutely _nothing_. He should've known that he'd never be loved, that he hadn't the capacity to love.

    And yet, Kaneki didn't regret a thing. Like how he'd murdered his mother, he didn't feel even an ounce of guilt. He didn't feel anything about the guy who was slowly trying to crawl out of his sight like a measly, filthy bug. 

    But seeing Hide so terrified hurt Kaneki. It hurt Kaneki so much that he wanted to join the crawling guy and crawl out of Hide's sight. 

    "I'm sorry," Kaneki apologized, cupping his chin with one hand. But his voice was empty. He wasn't sorry, he never was. 

    Hide's eyes softened a little bit, "You're not. Kaneki, why did you do that?" Kaneki gulped.

    Kaneki's voice can out soft, as if he was replying to his mother, "He was hurting you. I don't want anyone to hurt you."

    "But how'd you... do that?"

    "I read it somewhere." And his mother had once done that to him, but Hide didn't need to know that.

    Hide giggled, "Lesson learned, don't mess with the bookworms! C'mon, dude, let's go to the ice cream parlor! I bet they'll run out of my favorite if we don't hurry up!" The two began to jog, leaving the bully alone with his crawling. 

    Kaneki knew Hide was not done asking questions. 

**...**

    "Why do you always have to go so early?" Hide whined. They were swinging on the swings at the nearby park and talking about nothing and everything at the same time. 

    "I have a curfew," Kaneki replied. He needed to go home until curfew or his aunt didn't leave money for him to buy things. He'd missed his curfew last night because Hide had begged him to stay, and now he owed Hide two days' worth of what he was given. But Kaneki was okay with that, he'd be alright if he didn't eat for two days. He'd dealt with a lot worse.

    "I don't like your secrecy, Kaneki. We're best friends, we should tell each other everything! You know what? I'm going to walk you home today!"

    "N-no, it's alright Hide. I can go home with myself."

    "I don't really care, I wanna see what your aunt is like! I bet she's smart like you are, and quiet. Do you have a cousin?" Kaneki didn't dare laugh at how Hide predicted his aunt was.

    "Y-yeah, something like that. Anyways, Hide, see you tomorrow." Kaneki got up and started to power-walk in the direction of his home. Hide caught up to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, forcing Kaneki to slow down.

    Hide narrowed his eyes at Kaneki, "The secrets end here, ya little bunny." 

    When the two came up to Kaneki's house, Kaneki really wished he'd joined the bully and crawled as far as he could. Maybe he'd get adopted by a roach family and get given the worm crawling award. You'd never know...

    Hide knocked on the door. His aunt opened it with an angry expression.

    "You worthless son of a bitch, literally! You're late for curfew by five minutes and do you know what that means? Huh? Who's the guy next to you?"

    Hide blinked in surprise. "He's my friend, auntie," Kaneki replied as quietly as he could, bowing his head.

    "Friend?" his aunt barked, "You aren't meant to have friends, you twat!" She grabbed Kaneki's shoulder and yanked him into the house harshly. "You don't want to get involved with this kid, sweetie," his aunt said to Hide, "My son, though, is a kind boy. I'm sure you two can get along. Come back another day, and without all this Kaneki nonsense." She pushed the door shut harshly and glared at Kaneki. 

    "I'm sorry," Kaneki said, cupping his chin with his hand. "I didn't mean to be late." He had walked extra slow to avoid Hide meeting his aunt, and look where that had gotten him.

    He was shoved and locked in his room. Kaneki couldn't sleep that night, because he knew Hide was going to leave him after seeing this.

**...**

Despite Kaneki's efforts, Hide managed to corner him at the playground.

    "You," Hide started. Kaneki prepared for the worst. "You are the most idiotic person I have ever met! How... How could you not tell me this?" Kaneki didn't trust himself to speak. Tears started to slide down Hide's cheeks and he quickly pulled Kaneki into a tight hug, "I can help you, you imbecile. I always could and I always can. And if you ask me for help, just ask!"

    "I-I don't get it," Kaneki stuttered. Wasn't Hide going to end their friendship?

    "You don't have to fight alone," Hide whispered, "In fact, please don't. Don't fight alone. We'll deal with everything together from now on, okay? Can you promise me that, Kaneki?"

    _I want to change._ _I will change._ _I'm going to change. And then I'm going to remain at Hide's side forever._

_Because guess what, Mother? I can love, and I can be loved._


	5. 100+ Hits Special!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I should focus on how (I think) Hide and Kaneki's relationship is. Hide unwilling to see Kaneki get beaten down while Kaneki's just... Kaneki. 
> 
> To anyone who was wondering, Kaneki and Hide are, like, ten years old in this chapter.

**\-------------------------------**

"Kaneki, stay over!" Hide said as he clung onto Kaneki's legs. "Please, please, _please_!"

    Kaneki looked at his friend in frustration. Hide knew that Kaneki'd stay even if he didn't plead, and Kaneki really needed to go home. He owed Hide a lot of money, a few weeks' worth at least! He needed to get started. "Hide," he whined, but they both knew that Kaneki wouldn't struggle.

    "I don't want you to go back to that house," Hide said, climbing up Kaneki's body so they both could fall back onto the blankets they had gathered on the floor to sit and lay down on, "Thank you, by the way."

    "For what?"

    "Staying. I'm like a bunny, you know? I die if I'm lonely!" Kaneki chuckled and snuggled closer to Hide, forgetting about his aunt. He could worry about all that later.

    This was becoming a routine for them now. Cuddling until they had to get up for a reason (which was most likely a call from nature). "Kaneki," Hide muttered, "How can you stand to live in a house like that?"

    "I just think 'Someone out there has it worse than me," and go about my day. And my mother taught me that it was better to be hurt than hurt others." Kaneki replied, thinking back to how kind his mother had been before she had over-worked herself.

    "Your mother was too nice for her own good. And now she made you like her."

    "Don't say that as if it's a bad thing! My mother was one of the purest people on earth!"

    "You say that as if it's a good thing..." Kaneki began struggling against Hide while Hide tightened the hug. Kaneki knew it was for nothing, Hide played a lot of sports while Kaneki just sat on his butt and read. But it was kind of satisfying to see Hide unwilling to let go. "Alright, no more talk about your mother." Kaneki stopped struggling and nodded.

    Hide chuckled, but was unable to mask a little bitterness in his voice. Kaneki didn't comment on it, fearing it would end their friendship. 

    The two fell asleep while cuddling. 


	6. I'm Not Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell by the chapter's title, this is going to be one of the more painful moments in Kaneki's past, but I think who this moment hurts the most is arguable.

**\--------------------**

   Kaneki said nothing as he stared at what he was holding in his hands.

    He was holding a knife and a fork. They were gleaming against the artificial light, and their sharpened edges and points looked seductively deadly. 

    _Do it, you murderer,_ a voice said in his head. The voice sounded strangely like himself, but its tone was cruel and wicked. It sounded familiar. So, so familiar. 

    But why was it calling Kaneki a murderer? Kaneki hadn't killed anyone. 

    _You're just a waste of space anyways,_ the voice said. _Your mother left you; your aunt, cousin and uncle don't give a shit about you._

No, the voice was wrong. Kaneki had Hide. Hide cared about him, Hide wanted Kaneki to be by his side. Kaneki still had a purpose to live.

    _Hide is just scared. Who wouldn't be scared of an unstable boy with family issues?_

Was that true? Was Hide sticking with Kaneki just because he was scared? Was Kaneki forcing Hide? 

    "Kaneki?" Hide asked, snapping Kaneki out of his conversation with the voice for a minute. Hide's eyes had so much concern in them.

    But who was that concern for? Kaneki or himself? 

    _Of course himself, you idiot; who'd love you anyways? You're just a freak!_

    "Kaneki?" Hide's voice was shaking now. He was probably fearing for his life.

    "It's okay," Kaneki replied softly. The voice was right. It was all going to be okay after Kaneki finally did what was right.

    Because it was better to be hurt than hurt others.

    Kaneki stood up and cupped his chin with his hand, "I'm going to the bathroom."

    "Put the utensils down, Kaneki."

    Kaneki kept his hand where it was ad felt grateful that Hide's parents weren't home. "I'll be right back."

    "P-put the utensils down!"

    Kaneki was walking. He heard Hide running after him. 

    Kaneki started to run.

    "You idiot! You poop! Come back here! Don't do it!" Hide's voice was desperate.

    _What am I doing?_ Kaneki thought. But he couldn't stop. 

    Hide caught him at the door, while Kaneki had been fumbling with the keys that kept it locked. Hide quickly snatched away the utensils in Kaneki's hand and threw them to the furthest corner, "You stupid little idiotic poop."

    Kaneki was shaking. He couldn't stop shaking. Oh god, what had he been so prepared to do? The only words that he came out of his mouth were the words _I'm_ and _sorry_ , so he kept chanting them. He needed Hide to know that this hadn't been Kaneki's doing. He needed Hide to know that he was sorry. 

    Hide just hugged him. He hugged Kaneki tightly and his shoulders began to shake. Pretty soon, Hide was crying hysterically. 

    "D-d-don't ev-er d-do th-that aga-gain!" Hide shouted, barely being able to stutter the sentence between his sobs. 

    Kaneki hugged his best friend tightly, not saying anything. Because not even he trusted what he would say if he opened his mouth.

    Hide had never been the same ever since that incident. He always kept a watchful eye over Kaneki whenever they came across something sharp and never left Kaneki's side. He even pressured the principal to making the two's schedule the same and succeeded. Kaneki was either with Hide at Hide's house, or his house. There was no other option.

**\-----------------**

    Kaneki hadn't remembered this memory until now. He wondered if Hide remembered it before he'd been killed. By Kaneki.

    _I'll be joining you soon,_ Kaneki thought. Just the thought made him smile.


	7. I Can't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will end soon ;-;
> 
> I'm sorry, but since Kaneki's forgotten so much and these things don't affect him much since he's used to it, I can't keep writing it. 
> 
> But after I end this story, I plan on writing another one. Any ideas?  
> *this chapter isn't a memory from Kaneki's childhood, but it is pretty sad*

 

**\--------------------------**

Kaneki sat on the edge of the roof. 

    "Are you alright?" said a voice behind him. Kaneki didn't bother turn around to face the well dressed man. 

    "None of your business," Kaneki replied, staring at his phone. He wanted to cry, but now he couldn't because of the man behind him.

    He heard Tsukiyama step closer and quickly turned off his phone. The last thing he needed was his creepy stalker seeing what he was looking at. 

    "You've been out of it for days, now," Tsukiyama said and jumped to the edge, sitting down beside the one-eyed ghoul. Kaneki said nothing and tried to shove his emotions down his throat for a few minutes. "That phone of yours," Tsukiyama conversed, "You should just destroy it. You had been so weak before, why not destroy your connections to that black-haired, fragile little thing?"

    Kaneki said nothing as he started at the city lights. Hide had once said that they were beautiful, but Kaneki found them strangely disgusting. It was one of the very few things they disagreed on, and it highlighted how much of a different perspective they shared. Kaneki saw the dark side in things, while Hide focused on the good.

    This phone was the only light Kaneki had, he wasn't about to just trash it. This phone was one of the only things that still kept him going. 

    What was Hide doing? Probably worrying himself sick about Kaneki. Kaneki felt awful, but it was probably for the best. Because of Kaneki's rep, he couldn't just see his best friend without putting the latter in terrible danger. 

    _Once this is all over,_ Kaneki promised himself, _I'm never leaving Hide's side ever again._

    "Are you thinking about that human friend of yours?" Tsukiyama asked. Kaneki felt himself tense reflexively, what was Tsukiyama getting at? "You'll never see him again. Either you or he will die before you two see each other."

    The words echoed in Kaneki's mind. No, they'd find a way to survive through this.

    Tsukiyama continued as if he were fucking praising the shitty city lights, "Even if you two manage to survive, you'll still be bounded by your rep, Kaneki-kun. What is the leader of the Anti-Aogiri, the fearsome Eyepatch, a hybrid doing with a mere human boy? Do you know how much of a target that boy will be?"

    Kaneki gritted his teeth and squeezed his fists, "Another word, Tsukiyama, and I'll make you eat yourself until there's nothing more you can eat."

    "That is quite the paradox, Kaneki-kun. If I eat myself until I can't eat anymore of myself, will I regenerate or will I die?"

    "Oh, you'll die. I'll make sure of it." Tsukiyama licked his lips and smirked.

    "That confidence and atitude will only make you much more of a delicious main course, Kaneki-kun. Would you like to destroy that phone of yours with me, your sword?"

    "Don't be so confident that I'll be on the plate, my screw driver. Go back inside and check on Hinami, would you? If I find even a suspicious strand of hair, you know who'll be responsible for it." Tsukiyama frowned and walked away, leaving Kaneki alone once again.

    "He's right," Kaneki whispered to the wind, hoping that Hide would hear somehow. "I... I'm so sorry I broke our promise."

    Then the fearsome Eyepatch began to bawl like a 5-year old kid, all alone at the rooftop.

**\-----------------------------**

    Kaneki never did trash the cellphone. But it went missing after he became Sasaki Haise, which was one of the many things he could never forgive the CCG for. 

    Kaneki screamed as a limb was cut off, but still went at Arima like a madman. He just had an instinct to _survive_. After all the trouble he and Hide had went through, the least Kaneki could do was survive for both their sakes.

    This was getting interesting.


	8. Reality is an Eternal Dance That Will End Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, sorry for the wait! I was a little busy...
> 
> Hide: she was writing another book. She abandoned this fanfiction. She cheated on his fanfiction.
> 
> *smacks Hide back to Heaven* this is the last chapter of Stay By My Side. I's like to thank everyone who has read and supported this fanfic!
> 
> Now the question is: Which fandom shall I torture next?

_**"Ignorance is bliss, but it does not last. In order to move forward, we must welcome the pain with open arms. I do not know if I can survive this, but at least I'll die fashionably. Hope you're sleeping well, Haise. I will join you soon."** _

_**"What are you thinking, Kaneki? I told you to live, didn't I?"** _

__

Kaneki's mind was a mess as he fought off Arima. The investigator was strong, too strong fo Kaneki to hold off while missing multiple limbs. 

    Kaneki was hungry, angry and wanted to just _die_ already. But it was obvious that Arima was holding back. It seemed as if the feelings were mutual between them.

    Kaneki stood straight, "You had a lot of chances to finish me off, you said it yourself. Why didn't you? It would have been foolish to think that I wouldn't regain my memories, especially for you Arima." 

    Arima said nothing. Instead, he charged at Kaneki. Kaneki lost his right arm.

    "Did you like Haise that much? He isn't coming back, you know."

    Another flash. An almost fatal wound. 

    "You really lost yourself in your fatherly role. I never had a father, I never will. So you might as well stop hesitating and finish me off already."

    This time, Arima didn't inflict damage. He stood there and looked at Kaneki.

    "Why are you standing there? I'm just a filthy ghoul to you, aren't I? A creepy, filthy, insane ghoul with family issues. No one will really miss me if I died. Some people will cry at most for a week before I'm forgotten."

    Arima kept on standing there. 

    "But why would you care if people cried? You killed a lot more ghoul's and humans who'd be missed by many more people for a very long time. So why are you just standing there?"

    "You wish to see your friend again," Arima said quietly. 

    "No, I don't have the right to go where he is now. I'm going back to Mother."

    "I feel sorry for you." That was all Arima said before he walked past Kaneki. Kaneki smiled the second genuine smile he had smiled in his life.

    And his head fell from his shoulders and rolled on the ground. His body crumpled to the floor.

    Kaneki was too dead to see Arima crying, too dead to hear Arima saying that he would be remembered.

    But Kaneki was too dead, so he could hear Hide's lectures. He could see Hide's disappointed, angry, sad, happy face. Kaneki was too dead to care about how heartbroken Hide was to see him dead. He just hugged his best friend.

    "I can't believe I'm home," Kaneki whispered. Hide just cried and ranted about how stupid Kaneki was. 

    And then the blinding light erased them both out of existence.


End file.
